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Deborah Ballard

Deborah Ballard is a columnist for GCN, and also an ex-editor of the magazine. With her keen eye and sharp sense of humour, Deborah dissects gay life as we know it and comes up with the goods on what’s really happening.


27 Mar 2009

Our Disordered Eating

2 comments

How many of us have already given up going to the gym we signed up for at the beginning of the year? How many of us are avoiding the scales or embarking on yet another diet? And how many of us are scarfing protein drinks and in that gym seven days a week, or throwing up most of what we eat?

Eating Disorders Week had the media all fired up about eating disorders again, raising awareness about these painful afflictions, but also adding to everyone's anxiety about food and body image. According to Bodywhys, research estimates of male sufferers range from 15-25 per cent; they don't break it down into straight and gay, but some research indicates that gay men are disproportionately represented, particularly in that form of eating disorder which focuses on over-exercising and muscle-building.

Despite increased awareness, eating disorders remain mysterious. Many of the 'risk-factors' suggested seem so broad as to explain nothing. Who hasn't been on a diet? Who doesn't fear weight gain? And who has not obsessed to some extent about their appearance, weight and food? We don't seem to register that people diagnosed with eating disorders are just the tip of the iceberg that is all of us.

An excellent Irish Times article by Fiona McCann on her journey through anorexia showed a picture of her as a pretty, slender young woman, but left it to her to describe what she once looked like: 'hollowed eyes, a nose out of all proportion and oversized equine teeth.' Her description instantly brought back the image of a college friend - it was the teeth that struck you most, and the huge knees. It was the first time I'd ever heard of anorexia, but soon I was seeing it everywhere.

The '60s taste was for doll-like 'girls', with huge eyes and prepubescent figures. (Sound familiar?) It was a hard look to achieve if you weren't born that way, but it was never all about image. It was a time when women were not sure what they were supposed to be; they had the education and the jobs, but they were still expected, as dependents of men, to accept lower pay and go home and cook the dinner. Women who found that they could suppress their appetite had discovered there was one thing they could control, and found it too scary to stop.

I think a feeling of confusion and powerlessness is at the heart of eating disorders, and when it comes to having a sense of control over your life, not a lot has changed since the '60s. Until the middle of the 20th century, most people, even if individually powerless, could rely on certain social certainties. Then these began to unravel. In their place came a focus on the individual - as Thatcher infamously said, 'There is no such thing as society' - and with that, a sense of insecurity, competitiveness and self-scrutiny. The incidence of eating disorders rose, and among men and children as well as women.

The images of 'perfect' bodies in advertisements and popular culture are widely blamed for the rise in eating disorders, but I think they merely reflect what is going on - the increased stress on individual achievement and on the body as a site for indicating status. When everyone (of course it never //was// everyone) has the car and the house and the holidays, what is there but your appearance to show that you're a success?

It's all about lifestyle - when we all did hard physical work and walked everywhere, we hoovered up the meat, potatoes and suet puddings and stayed as fit as fleas; only the idle rich got fat. Now, for the first time in human history, being fat is seen as the mark of a loser, and we all carry huge anxiety about it. Apart, that is, from the lucky few with unthrifty genes which have survived the millennia against the odds, and the unlucky millions who don't have enough to eat.

In the struggle to compensate for our lack of physical activity, we have become fearful of certain foods; a two year-old I know thought his obviously pregnant mother 'had eaten too much chocolate'. Saturated fats are particularly feared, but where's the taste or satisfaction in lean steak or non-fat yoghourt? Low fat diets keep you constantly unsatisfied, and most of us now eat in a way which has little connection with our appetites.

We are eating in the most denatured way in human history. Eating to excess is an atavistic instinct - it made up for the times of famine. As food got more plentiful, people regulated their intake by eating certain things at fixed times of day, and knew when they'd had enough. Now we in the west no longer fear hunger, we have to rely on our appetites to keep us to a healthy weight, yet we have overwhelmed them with our anxieties and confused them with over-refined food and diets - which the body reads as famine. People diagnosed with eating disorders are not the only victims of the disordered way we all eat.


Add your comment


Peter B

There would seem to be a psychological element in terms of it being used as a response in the form of self harm and self loathing. Society today is pervaded with images of the way we're supposed to be, the perfect body, perfect smile, perfect life, perfect job and on and on. It takes a degree of self belief to ignore this and see it for what it is. Meanwhile, people have deep seated anxieties, emotional, spiritual and other psychological problems, but the media focus is always on the external image, the physical, the material. Across society I would think women tend to be effected by this more than men, but gay men are more exposed than straight men and for obvious reasons. It comes down to the need for a holistic approach to living. The body, the mind and the spirit - all need to be attended to, if a balanced and healthy life is to be lived.

POSTED BY Peter B 27 Mar 2009


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POSTED BY wadeben 13 Apr 2009


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