The language of sex and flirting changes around the world, and Grindr is decoding some of the gay slang users might encounter on their next trip abroad. Things can get lost in translation when travelling, but adding a holiday hook-up into the mix can make those misunderstandings a whole lot more awkward. 

With more than 15 million monthly active users, Grindr has a global presence in cities including Paris, Rio de Janeiro, New York City, Bangkok, São Paulo and Berlin. While attraction might be universal, the language used to flirt is not always so straightforward.

New research from Grindr has revealed just how often language mix-ups can affect flirting, messaging and hookups.

According to the app, two in five (41%) of users experience a language faux pas during a meet-up while travelling. More than half (53%) say a language mix-up can kill the mood, while more than one in three (36%) have experienced confusion while messaging on an app. A further 14% have experienced confusion during a hook-up itself. 

On the flip side, the research also found that American was the sexiest accent for hook-up talk, followed by Australian, Brazilian, Spanish and English. 

Included in the research were several examples of how the language barrier can be a big hindrance to a good time.

One user recalled, “a guy asked if I wanted a ‘dreier’. I heard ‘dryer’ and had absolutely no idea what he was suggesting. Turns out, ‘dreier’ is German for a threesome.”

Another user shared, “I said ‘slay’ and they thought I meant their outfit was so bad they’d killed it.”

“Language can make sex and flirting so much hotter, but take that language abroad and things can get messy pretty quickly. I once thought ‘arriba’ and ‘abajo’ meant top and bottom in Spanish, only to discover I was asking guys in Colombia if they were ‘up’ or ‘down’,” says Zachary Zane, Grindr’s Sex & Relationship Expert.

He adds, “Every culture has its own ways of flirting and talking about sex, and figuring those out – awkward misunderstandings included – is part of the fun of travelling. Thankfully, tools like Grindr’s in-app translation feature make it much easier to connect when you don’t speak the same language.”

To help users avoid any of their own awkward misunderstandings, Grindr has highlighted several gay slang terms that could prove useful while travelling abroad.

In Spanish, slang terms include ‘passivo’ meaning ‘bottom’; ‘activo’ meaning ‘top’; ‘papi’ meaning ‘daddy’; and ‘morbo’, for something kinky or sexually exciting and adventurous. 

In Portuguese, ‘hospeda’ means someone who hosts or can accommodate.

In German, ‘jetzt’ and ‘gleich’ mean ‘now’ and ‘in a moment’.

‘Panthi’, a South Asian term, typically refers to a masculine partner who takes the role of top, while ‘kothi’ is typically associated with feminine expression and taking the role of bottom.

In China, ‘1/0’ is used as shorthand for ‘top’ and ‘bottom’, respectively.

Grindr conducted the research through a volunteer in-app survey of 3,482 users between September 1 and 3. Individual responses were kept anonymous.