Are you considering non-monogamy in your relationship? If the idea of exploring polyamory or open relationships has crossed your mind, you may be wondering whether you’re ready to take that step.

Non-monogamous practices can initially seem overwhelming, but with a clear understanding of some basic ground rules and key points, you can assess whether this dynamic is right for you and your partner.

First of all: what defines non-monogamy in a relationship? There’s no single, universally accepted definition, mostly because the people involved are the ones who will set the definite rules according to what feels most comfortable for them. What works for one couple might not work for another.

However, generally, a non-monogamous relationship refers to those in which individuals have multiple sexual and/or romantic partners simultaneously. This includes an array of different relationship structures, including open relationships, swinging, hierarchical and non-hierarchical polyamory and more. 

Whatever label you choose to use, the key to having a successful non-monogamous (just like a monogamous) relationship is communication. From when you start to open up about your desires to navigating through them alongside your partner, the way that you talk about it can be make or break.

Yes, it might be scary at the beginning, but if you never try you will never know. 

To help you follow through with the decision, this article provides some basic information that will help you navigate the new situation smoothly. 

What is worth knowing beforehand? Firstly, despite mainstream media depictions, non-monogamous relationships are not all parties and orgies. Most of the time, they involve a lot of talking.

You must be ready to put the work into understanding and communicating your feelings and being vulnerable. In fact, coming to the understand that you can’t meet all of your partner’s needs can be very frustrating and triggering at times. 

Moreover, having a polyamorous dynamic doesn’t necessarily mean that all the insecurities that come with having just one partner will fade away. You will still experience jealousy or insecurity, and that’s completely fine. 

Additionally, it’s crucial to understand that non-monogamy is not a quick fix for a struggling relationship. It’s as good as entering an entirely new relationship that requires work and care, not a bandaid to avoid one-to-one problems. Non-monogamous relationships mustn’t be seen as a way out because that will settle an unstable base from which to start building a new relationship. 

Every relationship is different, and the needs of each couple may vary. However, as a general condition, it is necessary to set some ground rules.

Some of these guidelines might work as ‘training wheels’ that will change and modify or even disappear over time. Others will remain non-negotiable. It can be a good idea to write them down and go back over them periodically, or when things are not feeling comfortable. 

For instance, you might have to ask yourself how many encounters you feel comfortable having with other people. Are you going to share details? Can you invest yourself in someone else in a romantic way? Have you just decided to have one-night stands? How about shared partners? 

Non-monogamy also comes with an increased responsibility for physical health. The risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can rise, so prioritising safe sex practices is essential. Precautionary measures and monthly checks should be a priority to ensure everybody’s safety. 

Whether or not you decide to pursue non-monogamy, it is important to keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong outcome, as long as both parties involved treat each other with mutual respect and hold themselves accountable for their actions. Exploring sexual freedom through non-monogamy can be an exciting and enriching experience when approached with intention and self-awareness. By staying true to your values and communicating honestly, you can navigate this journey in a way that strengthens your relationship and individual growth.