No two dates are the same, and how a guy on a date with you acts may determine the length, strength and direction of your potential relationship. Alan Finnegan reveals eight gay dating ‘types’, to help you read what’s going on over dinner.
The Man On A Mission
This kind of dater isn’t playing games. He’s on a mission to find the one and his dating philosophy is: Why waste time on Mr. Right Now when I could be sitting across from Mr. Right?’
He will not hide his feelings. When the future is up for discussion, he’ll openly talk about living together, marriage, kids and growing old. If settling down quickly is your thing, then don’t play games. Be a man on a mission too.
This guy LOVES to date. He relishes every little bit of the whole experience of getting to know somebody, which is lovely, isn’t it? After all, we all want the guy we’re on a date with to be interested in us. But, hold on. Look at the big neon sign over this guy’s head, saying: “Next!”
The Date-o-holic is looking for fun and experience. After all, why should he be nailed down when he’s spoilt for choice?
The way to spot if you’re on a date with a Date-o-holic is to answer all his deeply personal questions while trying to keep eye contact. If his eyes are wandering, you know he’ll be wandering too, as soon as he spies fresh meat.
The Undercover Agent
This guy likes to keep things low-key at first. His strategy is to get you both spending loads of time together alone, without each other’s friends and family knowing a thing about it, because why confuse things with other people’s opinions when you’re not sure about a guy yourself?
Dating in secret also means he doesn’t have to feel that extra pressure in case it doesn’t work out. And if it does, he has the added bonus of dropping the ‘I’ve been dating for months now’ bomb with his mates.
The Loser In Love
This dater just can’t manage to meet his lovematch. One week he’s in love and the next he’s broken hearted. This unlucky lad is very experienced on the dating scene. He’s looking to find ‘the one’, but because he’s so desperate, everyone is ‘the one’, including you. His intensity will give him away, as will his Facebook page, which reads like sad poetry.
Being unlucky in love happens to everyone, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Desperation has a stronger stench than any cologne you have in your collection, and it’s not very attractive.
We all have qualities we look for when looking for love and sex. It could be the colour of his hair, his eyes, his personality, or simply his hobbies. The Pigeonholer can get too stuck on those qualities. He discards those who don’t fit the exact bill, and when he eventually finds the one who ticks all the boxes, sometimes…
…his love is unrequited. Those with too-high standards often find themselves being judged by similar pigeonholers. Be the type you are looking for and you will have better luck.
The Friend Finder
This guy doesn’t want a relationship – he wants a new friend. Everything starts like the proper dating scenario. There are cinema trips, dinner plans, and sex. Just before things get too serious a subtle conversation happens and somehow you end up just being mates.
It’s up to you to analyze the situation from the outset. If you don’t see it becoming serious, don’t get intimately involved.
Have you ever been dating somebody for months and never had the commitment conversation? Sometimes both parties feel awkward about bringing the topic up, afraid that if they rock the boat they might scare each other off. But other times it is because the guy you’re dating actually doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship. He doesn’t want the restrictions that come with being in a relationship, but he likes having you around.
If you ask a Non-labeller to have ‘the conversation’ with you, and all you get is…
… remember, it’s him and not you. You need to decide whether you like having things so vague or if you’d prefer to be in a relationship with all the labels.
The Ex Filer
Picture the scene: You’re on your first date and you’ve just had a two-hour conversation about your date’s ex. Your initial response might be:
But then again, you might think he has the potential to get over that that darn ex.
Remember, if a guy’s ex plays such a crucial part in his present relationships, it will just lead to problems. Find somebody who has no baggage, and who’s ready to focus on starting something new with you.
© 2014 GCN (Gay Community News). All rights reserved.
comments. Please sign in to comment.