Donal Óg Cusack’s common sense approach to homophobia may be exactly what we need in the lead-up to the equal marriage referendum, says Rob Buchanan.

In the RTÉ One documentary, Coming Out of The Curve, the former Cork goalkeeper came across as an all-around good skin who happens to be gay, and he seemed slightly unprepared for his encounters with hate speech in Russia and the US. Perhaps that was the point, but I found myself frustrated when Cusack came face-to-face with bigots spouting shocking propaganda only to meet it all with low-intensity disagreement. I found myself literally shouting at the screen as ream after ream of erroneous rhetoric from Russia’s Vitali Milonov went mostly unquestioned. Hearing the vile declaration: “homophobia is beautiful” go unchallenged had me foaming at the mouth.

Later, a clearly deluded “ex gay” therapist citing high suicide rates as “proof” that homosexuality is a psychiatric disease. This was equally met with little resistance, and that was nearly the last straw, but then I gradually saw that although type of non-confrontational style actually works. It will, of course never force dyed-in-the-wool homophobes to change their minds; instead it’s a kind of Trojan horse tactic that could make the majority of fence sitters reconsider their attitudes to homosexuality. Cusack was, in his disarming way, showing the average Irish Joe how unstable, illogical and damaging the hate mongers are.

The film was in part designed to contrast the situation for Irish LGBT people with our brethren in Russia and the US, and I thought it done this exceedingly well. I was as delighted to see some familiar faces amongst the brave besieged gays of Russia, as I was heartbroken to glimpse the realities of life for homeless LGBT youth in America. There was a poignant interview with an older Irish gay man, living in Mayo, giving light to the shattering effect that homophobia and the invisibility of LGBT people can have on families. Then for an equally informative, but a more positive angle we saw interviews with some of the young people involved in BeLonG To guys and some insight into a progressive program in a secondary school in Donegal, dedicated to supporting LGBT students. Also featured where out Cork footballer Valerie Mulchahy, and a young gay semi-professional rugby player and Garda.

The BeLonG To section filled me with a potent combination of extreme pride for the courage and confidence of the guys, but also a tinge of regret thinking how much happier and less lonely my own youth would have been had I had something like BeLonG To in my teens.

Perhaps the most pertinent point, and one that Cusack repeatedly raised, was how obsessed homophobes seem to be with the lives of gay people. It seems that what we do in our bedrooms, and even what we feel in our hearts, are the very core focus of many deluded, hate-filled minds.

“If you marry a woman and I marry a man, why do you care?” Donal Óg asked the neurotic and patently unhappy ex-gay campaigner.
To my mind, that’s the central question in the upcoming marriage equality referendum. It is about asking strangers to consider whether two people of the same sex marrying will any way negatively affect their lives.

Ultimately, Coming Out Of the Curve was a documentary made for straight people. The insights it provided and its no drama approach showed homophobia and the obsession with the sexual orientations of strangers up for the nonsense that it is. Hopefully it might have made some of those undecided on voting Yes in the upcoming referendum think twice about the benefits of equality, versus the soul destroying toxicity of discrimination.