Alex, Francesco and Philip have much more in common than just the love they share. The gay throuple found in Ireland a refuge to live openly without any locks or chains.
“In Romania, two guys holding hands in public is inconceivable,” Philip says. In many countries, actions such as the one mentioned by our Romanian friend are a demonstration of courage as well as love.
Alex is a Brazilian student and dancer who came to Dublin a little more than two years ago. Born and raised in a favela in Minas Gerais – the second most populous state in Brazil – Alex came out to his mom prior to his departure to Europe. He shared this was the reason his relationship with her became emotionally distant. “I did not give us enough time to talk about my feelings. We’ve spent one year living our lives without knowing much about each other.”
The Brazilian dancer continued, “Besides being very religious, my mom is also a single mother. So, deep in my heart, I felt as if I owed her everything and could not bring her down by opening up about my sexuality.”
Alex stars in the quirky, colourful music video for Irish pop artist Aimée’s latest track, ‘What My Mama Gave Me’.
In contrast his Brazilian’s boyfriend family, Philip did not grow up in a religious environment, however, this did not make his life any more comfortable when he decided to come out. “My parents are typical Romanians: very misogynist and very homophobic. They will never accept the fact they have a gay son”.
Philip had an unbearable relationship with his dad, which caused him to leave home very early. Two weeks after he came out he moved to Italy, where he met Francesco. “I had to leave home to be able to express the best version of myself…Once Fran came with me in Romania, and I had to ask him to act more straight.”
Alex also thinks that going back to Brazil would be a difficult decision. “It’s uncomfortable to be in my country and not be able to wear the clothes I wear in Ireland, for example. Most of us have to leave home thinking of the places where we can be ourselves without fear.” It is relevant to say that according to Grupo Gay da Bahia, in Brazil, an LGBT+ person is murdered in the country every 19 hours.
Ireland, on the other hand, allows the young men to enjoy life without worrying about anything else but being happy. Alex met Philip and Francesco through Grindr nine months ago. After two months of seeing each other regularly, they decided to become a “polyamorous gay throuple.”
What was already difficult for their families became way more complicated. Both Alex’s and Francesco’s families are aware of their relationship, but Philip is still waiting for the best moment to tell his. “I know they are not going to be happy for us, as they haven’t been happy for Francesco and me for five years.”
The gay throuple are going now on a new adventure. They have decided to move to Spain together so they can start writing a new chapter of their lives. “I’m leaving Ireland grateful for the opportunity this country gave me to feel free. It is a great place for gay people,” Philip says. And Alex shares the same point of view. “Whenever your sexuality becomes an issue in your life, it is crucial to take some time for yourself and go somewhere else. Ireland was this place for me, and I am super thankful for that.”
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