Does sex with your boyfriend not really push your buttons? Never fear, Alan Finnegan’s here with some tips to get you both on the same gay page.

Picture this: you are having sex with your boyfriend and midway through you find your mind wandering. Your partner isn’t doing any of the things you like and you’re not engaged. He’s not touching you the way you like, not doing any of the things to you that you like. You start thinking, ‘maybe next time it will be different’. A couple of days pass and you’re still lying there, bored by the sex.

It happens. But that doesn’t mean you go looking elsewhere for your jollies. Trying some new things to get your sex lives together back on track is always a good way forward. Here are six sextastic tips!

1. Porn To Be Wild

Sharing porn is a good way to communicate both your interests. It instantly gives you both some ideas on how to spice up things in the bedroom.

Some people are very visual, they don’t know what they might like until they see it. Similarly some people find it very hard to talk about sex. So, let’s say you want to be spanked while doing it. If you have any of your favourite spanking porn laying around, show it to your man. Give him a visual hint of what you like. It doesn’t have to be spanking, of course. You can pretty much find anything, from vanilla to wild in porn.

2. Sextual Healing

While at work or hanging about with friends, why not send a cheeky text to your partner? Texting dirty things to each other is like foreplay and your phone is a sex toy. If you’re talking dirty and hinting about what you’re going to do to each other, bring up something you want to experience. It could be something that you want more emphasis put on, like kissing or it could be something you want to do differently like a new position. Just keep mentioning how turned on you will be if this particular thing happens during sex. If they know what you like, they will want to do it. Communication is key in getting what you want in bed.

3. Show Him The Way

If there is something you are not liking in bed, make it obvious. This can be difficult though, because telling somebody they are doing something wrong can be a mood killer. It is all about getting the right mix of being subtle but clear.

If he is doing something wrong, move his hands to where you want them to be. Then let him know what a good job he is doing. It may feel like your training your dog to stop pissing on the carpet, but it works. If he thinks he is doing something right, he will keep doing it.

4. Dress To Undress

If you want your partner to wear a particular outfit or piece of clothing to bed there is a simple way to make it happen. Tell them it turns you on. If being direct isn’t your thing, the next time you see them wearing the clothing, comment on how hot they look and then pounce. If that doesn’t work, simply place the clothing on the end of the bed with a little note saying ‘When you put these on, text me’. Once your text comes through, pounce. When you’re done make sure they know that the outfit will have to make a return.

5. The Friend Excuse

If you are particularly embarrassed by something you want done in the bedroom, then blame a friend. Explain that your friend just told you about a sexual experience he just had, so you can scope out your partner’s opinion on the matter. If he reacts positively, then suggest that you might also like it. If he reacts negatively, tell your partner not to bring it up in public because your friend would kill you for blabbing. Unfortunately, in this case, you may need to stick to porn films to fulfil that little fetish of yours.

6. Play The Game

If you want to be blunt but playful about what you want in bed, then initiate a game that I like to call ‘the bowl of sexiness’. Tell him to write on pieces of paper all the sex acts he wants done to him in bed. You will do the same. During foreplay, you will both take turns reaching into the bowl. If it’s something the both of you are comfortable with then you can both do the act. It is a fun way to learn what your partner likes.

The only way you will succeed in having a successful long-term sex life through communication. Knowledge is power and when your partner knows your turn-ons he will have the power to make you turn to putty in his hands.