Man told by Grindr contact they can't be friends as they aren't both twinks

A Twitter user posted screenshots of a conversation where another Grindr user said he would not be his friend as he only likes friends who fall into the same gay 'category'.

Young man with beard shrugging his shoulders

One man took to Twitter after he was told by another user on the Grindr app who was looking for friends that he was “not his type”. The anonymous profile claiming to be searching for friends told James that he “only likes twinks.” 

Although when it comes to sexual preferences everyone is different, to extend this to friendships struck James as odd. He was not alone in this belief. After sharing screenshots of the conversation on Twitter, many spoke out against the man’s decision to only befriend “twinks” while others claimed to have ended up in similar situations on the app.

James said in his tweet that these so-called “preferences” for friends are stopping people with the LGBT+ community from connecting and forming meaningful friendships and is leading to further divides within the community. This becomes problematic as being a twink is about physical appearance as opposed to personality, so why would the user want to limit his potential friend pool to a group that is stereotypically almost exclusively slim, young gay men?

According to the anonymous man he “only want[s] to be friends with twinks because [he] only like[s] to hang out with people like [him] who [he] will still have things in common with.” James responded as many people would; “Wow. That’s the worst f***ing thing I’ve ever read”, before sarcastically wishing the other user good luck in his search for friends. 

Many people have spoken out against Grindr saying that it is a toxic environment for young LGBT+ men, with singer Troye Sivan speaking out about his own experiences on Grindr and bringing to light the prevalence of online grooming on the app, while others have made comments on the unrealistic standards set by many on the app. 

However, this interaction shows another, little talked about aspect to online dating and hook-up culture. Many see this form of “preference”, particularly when it comes to friendship, as a profiling that should be discouraged. One Twitter user recounted that he was told to “f*ck off” after just saying hello, based on his body-type alone.


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