Under the pretext that “the oppressed cannot oppress”, many sexist behaviours go unrecognised within the LGBTQ+ community. However, queerness doesn’t inherently prevent misogyny from happening in LGBTQ+ spaces and contexts. 

Patriarchal values often underlie any societal surface, which means that LGBTQ+ people cannot be exempt from them. But in which ways does misogyny manifest within the LGBTQ+ community? How can we detect misogynist behaviours, and how should we tackle them?

Firstly, we need to acknowledge what connotations the concept of “femininity” carries in our society. Indeed, one of the main fundaments of misogyny is the belief that femininity is inferior to and exists for the benefit of masculinity. 

From the point of view of a (misogynistic) straight man, we all know what that means: to feel entitled to own a woman’s body and to have the right to treat them from an upper hierarchical position of power. 

In a queer context, femininity can also be exposed to degrading treatment. Keeping in mind that this issue is way too complex to be simplified, but accounting for the fact that picturing diverse scenarios might help to better understand, we can consider the following contexts as common situations of misogyny.

For instance, some men are punished for renouncing their masculinity and presenting themselves as “too feminine”, which implies a whole rejection towards feminine traits that can result in misogynist behaviours. 

In other words, as Sadie E. Hale and Tomás Ojeda say in their manuscript, Acceptable femininity? Gay male misogyny and the policing of queer femininities, “this dual desire in popular gay male disclosure to be masculine […] has the effect of reproducing a widespread denigration of feminine in other gay men, and has at its centre a fundamental hostility to, disinterest in and degradation of women”. 

In a video about ‘Fighting Misogyny in the Gay Community‘ from the digital news company Mic, Gabe Gonzalez also claims that the idea that masculinity is somehow more desirable or powerful than femininity manifests into performing hypermasculinity, which often results in harmful behaviours towards straight women, queer women and even queer men themselves.  

In an article titled ‘How Misogyny Shows Up in the Queer Community’, the online magazine Everyday Feminism noted how even “the look of mainstream androgyny or queerness has gravitated towards masculinity”.

Under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, queer women tend to be rendered invisible more often, getting less representation in media or public spaces. There’s a skewed representation within the community, with the privilege that comes with being a man automatically implying more visibility. 

“How many gay bars exist in comparison with lesbian bars?” Gonzales asks. “Looking at the photos of the Stonewall riots, how many women have been pictured?” 

Another scenario occurs when straight men are being misogynistic towards lesbians, which entails an additional homophobic undertone. As Harriet Williamson states in the article Misogyny and homophobia: patriarchy, gender policing, and the male gaze, “for femme women in same-sex relationships, the blend of homophobia and misogyny they are subjected to is often based on men believing that the relationship exists for their sexual gratification”.

In our everyday lives, this message is spread, for example, by the portrayal of lesbian sex in pornography or pop culture, in which a masculine figure tends to appear in a higher dominant position. 

Another situation worth noticing in these cases is the general assumption about femme women being secretly straight for presenting as “too feminine”. 

In other situations, gay men can be misogynistic towards straight women, transgender women or lesbians. The debate here focuses on whether some gay men feel entitled to touch women’s bodies without their consent, simply because they are not interested in women.

Finally, when misogynist behaviour is directed towards trans women or masc lesbians, it often stems from the believe that they are “not feminine enough”. This bias can often result in verbal abuse, humiliation or even physical aggression. A clear example would be the exclusion of trans people from women-only spaces.

It is everybody’s duty to unlearn harmful behaviours and to pay attention to the small changes that we can make. How can we tackle misogyny in the LGBTQ+ community? 

In the first place, by checking and re-educating ourselves. We might have to question many cultural beliefs that are deeply rooted in us, but this individual work is necessary if we hope to end misogyny within the community. 

Lastly, it is important to call out misogyny in our friends, family and other people, instead of being silent witnesses of harmful behaviours.

There’s still a long way to go. But as long as we commit to fighting misogyny in the LGBTQ+ community with small everyday actions, we will step forward into a world closer to gender equality.

As Patrick Strudwick wrote in an opinion article in The Guardian, “I […] am a feminist first and a gay right activist second, second because there is no emancipation for gay people without the universal liberation of women”.