With what seems like every gossipy media outlet reporting on Madonna and her flat-cap fan of an ex-husband, Guy Richie’s custody battles, we thought we’d remind you of some of the most rancorous gay break-ups. Because of equality, y’know?

Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels

When musical icon Etheridge and Popular actress Tammy Lynn Michaels married in a lavish ceremony back in 2003 little could they or their guests – which included Al Gore, Sheryl Crow and Steven Spielberg among other luminaries – have forseen what a spectacularly bitter, highly publicised ending their relationship would have.

Things came to an end in 2010, with Etheridge intially telling Oprah that it was “mutual”. Of course, this alerted the world to the fact that it wasn’t mutual at all, and media specualtion about the true cause of the break-up went into overdrive.

Michael’s took to her blog – now defuct, but at the time an epic chronicle of the minutae of her break-up with Etheridge – to say that she was in fact “blindside” when Etheridge filed for divorce.

“gentle waves / no noise for awhile / or maybe gentle voices and / SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!! / FILE FOR DIVORCE!!!!!! / even though we both promised / agreed / handshook / pinkyswore / no filing until after the tour / in the fall.

Her broken promises / told to me by/headlines / i’m raising the kids / doing what i can / second set of yours.”

Things descended further when, after Michaels had moved to a temporary residence while the couple were “on a break”, a box of sex-toys meant for Melissa arrived at her door. “I trusted there was no one else,” she wrote on her blog. “I didn’t know there was someone moving in as I was moving out.” Soon news broke that Etheridge had been secretly dating Linda Wallem.

From 2010-2013 the couple were locked in a seemingly never-ending battle over money (Michaels claimed that her $86,000 monthly maintence was inadequate) and custody of their children. I
n 2012, Etheridge sought to have Michaels banned from smoking around the children after discovering she had burned their son with a cigarrette (Michaels wrote on her blog “That kid has insane pain tolerance, his tender flesh to the nicotine pencil on fire. So fast, so quick, he insisted it didn’t hurt.”).

In 2013 Michaels requested an emmergency hearing to stop Etheridge taking their children on tour due to the proliferation of exposed breasts (“many female fans remove their shirts and bras and throw them on stage”), a lack of vaccinations (which the couple had agreed upon initially) and Etheridge’s well-documented cannabis use.

In 2014 Etheridge married Wallem. Michaels, who has been quiet in recent years, remains a prolific tweeter and, presumably, alimony-spender.

Rosie O’Donnell and Michelle Rounds

When Rosie O’Donnell and Michelle Rounds married in 2012 things were great – for one short year. Then, the divorce shit hit the fan and the custody squabbling began.

Both women sought full custody of their adopted daughter Dakota. IT consultant Rounds claimed she was a more “attentive” parent and that O’Donnell’s “hands off” parenting style was a danger to the child. She also said it court that should be subject to drug tests because of her excessive drinking and marijuana usage.

This was confirmed by O’Donnell’s estranged daughter Chelsea who told the Daily Mail that her mother would frequently lock herself away in an ‘arts and crafts house’ – adjacent to the main house – to paint, blast Madonna on the stereo and smoke weed.

Rosie claimed that Round’s custody claim was a money grab, something Rounds denied. “I made my first million before the age of 39, that was before I met Rosie,” Rounds told ET.” The pre-nup money means nothing to me. I will walk away from the pre-nup if Rosie will give me full custody.”

Round also claimed that O’Donnell has nannies “24/7” and that discipline in her household was “non existant”.

Things took a startling turn in September 2015, when Rounds was rushed to a New York hospital after attempting suicide.

Thankfully, this story has a happy (sorta) ending, with Rounds and Rosie finally agreeing to joint custody after 8 months of accrimonious legal warfare. “There’s peace in the Middle East,” O’Donnell, joked to reporters outside the courthouse.

Johnny Weir and Victor Vornov

In 2014 figure skater-turned-sport’s commentator Johnny Weir’s marriage to Victor Voronov disolved amid more allegations of blindsides, biting(!) and “shakedowns”

Voronov also claimed to have been “blindsided” by the divorce petition, with TMZ reporting that Voronov was informed by Weir of his plans to file for divorce prior to his departure to Sochi for his controversial NBC commentating gig during the Olympics, and that Weir’s divorce documents were signed prior to this.

The divorce proceedings were instigated soon after Weir appeared in court on charges of domestic abuse after allegedly biting Voronov. The case was dropped and the couple appeared to have reconciled, before Weir announced the couple’s divorce. Weir claims he bit his husband in self-defense. “You’d never see a mark on my body, but the damage done to me mentally was crippling,” he told Access Hollywood.

The “shakedown” aspect relates to Weir’s claims that a representative for Voronov called his lawyer and said a media outlet had contacted them offering money for an interview about the biting incident. Weir’s reps claimed Victor’s lawyer said his client would turn down the interview IF Johnny paid him $25,000 for lawyers fees, plus support.

This was the tip of the ice(skating)berg. A day after announcing the couple’s split, Weir told Access Hollywood that the “worst” his ex could do to him would be “to post naked photos that we have between each other and I look flawless.” You can probably guess what happened next: in April, unconfirmed reports said Voronov obtained a nude photo of Weir that the skater allegedly sent to men he met on the Internet, and released it to the tabloids.

Weir also claimed that Voronov tried to rape him on New Year’s Eve, 2011. “Weir told Access Hollywood that Voronov “asked me to lay in bed with him in the biblical sense, and when I refused, the altercation between us started. I was defending myself.” Weir also allegedly texted a fellow skater that Voronov gave him herpes. Voronov responded with a defamation suit denying both claims.