Well, it’s happened: somebody went and make a bunch of Pokemon Go-themed sex toys.
Brisbane-based Etsy retailer Geeky Sex Toys have released a range of sex toys – titled ‘Pokemoan’ – inspired by the extremely popular augmented-reality game.
The Etsy page provides tongue-in-cheek (pun definitely intended) specs of the various Poke porn items, like ‘Bulby’ (because, somehow Bulbasaur wasn’t rique enough?), “a grass type Pokémoan. Bulby has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have. It’s seed is 5cm wide and 4cm tall and its body is 16cm tall and 3.5cm wide.”
Also featured is Squirty (based on Squirtle – sorta seems like the original names were smutty-sounding enough already?) “A water Pokémoan. Squirty has a smooth round head with a large grooved turtle shell on its back. Its bubbly head measures 4cm wide whilst his body measures 6cm wide and 14cm tall.”
Don’t forget ‘Charmy’: “A slightly thinner, fire type Pokémoan with a flaming tail. Standing 18cm tall and 4cm wide at its widest point Charmy gives intense orgasms everywhere it goes.”
Geeky Sex Toys also offer a rather cute Pikachu butt plug, called ‘Piky’. “This small electric type anal Pokémoan is a perfect size for the average Pokémoan trainer,” reads the description.
“Piky is an extremely cute yet essential addition to your team. Its insertable size is 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall and his tail is 8cm long.”
The seller also points out that all items are made “using 100% skin-safe silicone” so you definitely won’t be Bulba-sore after using them.
Check out Geeky Sex Toys full range of geeky sex toys (including a glow-in-the-dark Green Lantern cock-ring) here.
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