According to a study by Atlanta’s Credo Dollar Ministry, Pokémon turned viewers gay with their “phallic” imagery.
The “study” – we use that term loosely, as this is the same church who crowd funded in order to buy the founder a $65 million private jet because “God said so” – claims the Japanese 90s phenomenon played a huge part in turning a whole generation gay.
Their first gripe? The relationship between our hero, Ash, and his best buddy, Brock. The church claims that their friendship was more than innocent.
According to Christ News, the show “aims to guide young people towards the choice of homosexuality” adding that many of the Pokémon were intentionally “phallic” in order “to push teenagers to enjoy this type of shape.”
They even went as far as singling out Charmander and Mew (two of our childhood favourites, of course).
“This Pokémon named Charmander, continues to caress the cock in all her appearances,” say Christ News. Okay? Meanwhile, Mew is supposedly, “the perfect representation of the alleged third sex.”
You heard ’em, turn off the show, burn those trading cards before your kids catch the gay.
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