Alec Baldwin has spoken about being branded a “homophobe” in an essay published in New York Magazine this month.

Baldwin addressed an incident in which he allegedly used a homophobic slur against a paparazzo last year, which lead to him being fired from the news network MSNBC. He also announced that he was leaving New York for a more private life in Los Angeles, saying “I’ve lived this for 30 years, I’m done with it.”

He wrote, “I loathe and despise the media in a way I did not think possible. This is the last time I’m going to talk about my personal life in an American publication ever again.”

Baldwin, 55, talked about the paparazzo incident, saying, “I find myself bitter, defensive, and more misanthropic than I care to admit. And I’m trying to understand what happened, how an altercation on the street, in which I was accused—wrongly—of using a gay slur, could have cascaded like this,” he wrote. “There’s been a shift in my life. And it’s caused me to step back and say, ‘This is happening for a reason.'”

The 30 Rock star maintained that the incident was exaggerated, and defended himself. “Am I a homophobe? Look, I work in show business. I am awash in gay people, as colleagues and as friends. I’m doing Rock of Ages one day, making out with Russell Brand. Soon after that, I’m advocating with Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Cynthia Nixon for marriage equality. I’m officiating at a gay friend’s wedding,” he wrote.

“I’m not a homophobic person at all. But this is how the world now sees me.

“I get angry, and I’ve said all sorts of things in anger, but I’d never use that word.”

Read the full 5,000 word essay here.