“There’s a little bit of haterism going on here. A little bit of hate, a little bit of anger.”
The episode hits the ground running with Angry American Natalie kicking off at Gabby for not inviting her to participate in her workouts, something any normal person would consider a kindness. “YOU NEVER FORGET TO INVITE THE GUYS IN THE HOUSE!” Gabby runs off to the diary room to cry about it.
Gym time. Appropriately followed by another rep of the fight about workouts. This time it’s Herr Rodrigo and Gabby. “I don’t think Gabby likes me,” he says. Gabby’s face confirms this.
Elsewhere it’s time for another instalment of Storytime with Kirstie Alley. This time she told the group about how she did coke in the ’80s for four years (it’s a hell of a drug). She told the gang about the time she snorted a rail, did some babysitting, felt guilty and had a road to Damascus moment.
In other news: It’s finally the end of the stupid POTUS task which was obviously a hangover from when Stormy Daniels was still scheduled to go in. Kirstie and Ryan have to slum it with the others now, which Ryan is over the moon about (until he gets an earful of Hardeep’s snoring).
Natalie is still furious about the supposed workout snub. “There’s a little bit of haterism going on here. A little bit of hate, a little bit of anger,” she tells Rodrigo about Gabby. Adding “She’s a fucking bitch.
Then comes the nomination announcement, and Harcreep and Natalie find out they’re up. Hardeep looks shocked, Natalie reacts, unsurprisingly, with extreme anger. Rodrigo, sporting a bizarre batwing fringe shirt, tries to comfort Nat while Nick pokes his head out of his shell long enough to try explain to Nat about reality TV decorum in the UK.
She shouts over him. “I’ve done nothing to anybody! I’M IN DISBELIEF!” and storms out angrily. “Got me fucked up,” she roars around the house.
At this point it’s clear that Natalie is basically a grown-up Jai’me King.
Later in the Diary Room, Hardeep tells Big Brother that he doesn’t mind being nominated but despite his elegant words it’s clear that he does. Har(deep)-Har!
Meanwhile, Dan is missing his kids. Not enough to you know, stay at home instead of enrolling in CBB for several weeks, but certainly enough to cry on camera about it.
At the same time in the kitchen, Natalie tries to pick a fight with Kirstie for not knowing people’s names. Kirstie immediately leaves the room without engaging – she’s a goddamn crazy person-handling pro, as anyone who hangs around Scientologists for a few decades must be. Natalie complains about being “ridicooled”. Her relentless, indiscriminate anger is tiresome. “I’M JUST HAVING A REAL MOMENT”. Well stop having it you, ’cause it’s getting annoying now, squirrel friend.
Elsewhere, Hardeep puts a turban on Ryan and uses it as a creep on him too. I’ll say one thing for Hardeep: at least he is an equal opportunity creep.
Celebrity Big Brother, 9pm nightly on TV3 and Channel 5. Follow Ciara on Twitter @Mc_Ranter and read her blog, Adventures in TV here.
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