First Dates Ireland: “I’m Not A Fetish, I’m Just A Human Being”

The gay couple from last night's episode talked about toxic masculinity and inclusion in our community

first dates

Aleks, a 22 year old from Kilkenny was on his second date ever last night and he talked about his struggles as a young gay man in Ireland on last night’s episode of First Dates Ireland.

The couple Gary and Aleks knew each other already, (it seems like in the LGBT+ we all know each other in some way), but it was not a turn off for them to keep hopes high about their date.

Aleks brought up important issues in our society, as a queer person who looks different. He said:

“I get stared a lot by people every time, my friends get angry when someone is staring at me but I just wave at them and for me, it isn’t a big deal”.

“I’m not a fetish, I’m just a human being.” – #FirstDatesIRL

“I’m not a fetish, I’m just a human being.”#FirstDatesIRL

تم النشر بواسطة ‏‎RTÉ2‎‏ في الخميس، ٢١ فبراير ٢٠١٩

Gary shared his opinion about toxic masculinity in our LGBT+ community and how it can affect our relationships. He said:

“A lot of times when I meet a guy, they are trying to be masculine and it is actually a turn off for me, so when I tell them that I am into feminine, they usually let down their guard.”

It shows how our community is still influenced by toxic masculinity, building up a wall of something that doesn’t make sense with the reality and letting it end it up jeopardising dates, relationships and even ourselves for not being “masculine enough”.

Aleks also mentioned how hard is to find a place in the community when you are different even from your own community:

“I would look at the majority of the gay community and I would say, well I am not so masculine, so I don’t fit in here. Then I would look at the trans community, and I would say, but I am not trans, I do not feel trans. And I have this like a bubble of who am I? I would consider myself androgynous. I love just clashing masculine-feminine.”

He continued: “The men that are attracted to me literally are like, Are you a crossdresser? Are you a woman? Like they look at me as a fetish, disgusting, I am not a fetish! I am just a human being, I am Aleks”.

The date went very well, they said yes to each other and even kissed, they went on a second date but they had decided that they will just stay as friends.

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