Famous YouTube beauty guru NikkieTutorials, real name Nikkie de Jager, appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show this week to further discuss her journey as a transgender woman and in particular how she was blackmailed into coming out.

Just a week after uploading her moving “I’m Coming Out” video to her YouTube channel, the influencer sat down with Ellen to speak candidly about her experiences and how it was an online tormentor which pushed her to upload the powerful video. Nikkie admits she was nervous to share something she had kept so private to her over 13 million subscribers, although she was left feeling as though she had no choice.

Nikkie revealed in her video that although she had planned to come out at some point, she wasn’t ready to share this certain part of her life with her audience yet, however, her blackmailer had taken this choice away from her. She said: “Today I am here to share something with you that I’ve always wanted to share with you one day, but under my own circumstances, and it looks like that chance has been taken away from me. So today, I am taking back my own power and I have to tell you something (…) When I was younger I was born in the wrong body, which means that I am transgender. I am NikkieTutorials, and I am Nikkie. I am me.”

While on Ellen’s show Nikkie recounted how she received emails from someone who was apparently not happy with the fact that she was “lying” to her audience about being transgender and they threated that they would expose her if she didn’t reveal the truth. “He had a very pressuring tone of voice, and he was like, ‘If I don’t get an answer by tomorrow, it’s out.’ I think his entire goal with this was to destroy my life,” Nikkie explained.

She continued on to say that although it was a tough decision which caused her a lot of stress and pain she is grateful for all the support and love she has received and she wants to use her platform to inspire other transgender people.

Watch NikkieTutorials’ speak with Ellen about her coming out journey below.