While queer disabled representation in media is few and far between, David Ferguson notes that the TV series Special is a shining example of how to get it right.

One of the reasons Pride is important is that it creates awareness and visibility. Disability Pride is no different. The fact that July is Disability Pride Month got me thinking about visibility and representation for disabled people in the area I usually write about: pop culture. And in particular, queer people with disabilities.

Doing some research, it was slim pickings when it came to films and movies. There were some, but they largely fell into two categories: 1) the disabled characters were played by able-bodied actors, and 2) they just weren’t very good.

Then I remembered a series that I really enjoyed from a number of years ago: Special.

Special was created by Ryan O’Connell and is based on his book I’m Special: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves. Ryan O’Connell is a gay man and has cerebral palsy.

Like many men of a certain age, O’Connell’s gay awakening came while watching a famous scene in Cruel Intentions (1999), where we all got to see Ryan Phillippe’s bare bum. O’Connell said of the realisation, “I remember seeing Ryan Phillippe’s ass and being like, ‘That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life’. And then being, like, ‘Oh, fuck me. I’m gay and disabled, this is so rude’.”

O’Connell never struggled with his sexuality, though: “My struggle in life is coming to terms with my disability, owning my disability, feeling comfortable with my disability. It was never about being gay, ever.”

Special (2019-2021) tells the story of Ryan Hayes (played by O’Connell) as he tries to become independent, self-sufficient and live the life he wants to lead.

Season One sees him leaving home and setting up in his own apartment as well as starting a new internship at Eggwoke, an online content creation company. Everyone at work assumes that his limp, a symptom of his cerebral palsy, is the result of a car accident. Ryan decides to go along with it rather than out himself as being disabled.

He also tries to lose his virginity, but a Grindr date doesn’t work out due to his inexperience. His friend and co-worker, Kim (Kim Laghari), encourages him to meet a sex worker called Shay (Brian Jordan Alvarez). I found the scene to be one of the more realistic and authentic sex scenes, showing Ryan’s awkwardness. It was also a really positive portrayal of sex work, with Shay mentioning that he has had experience with other physically disabled clients and, in doing so, putting Ryan at ease.

Season Two sees Ryan’s circle expand as he joins The Crips, a social group of disabled people. It also greatly increases the disabled representation in the show.

Ryan O’Connell said of the move, “So basically, I knew that with season 2, the natural progression was for Ryan to find his own tribe of disabled friends. It was just really exciting because there’s so much cool disabled talent out there that doesn’t get its due.”

This includes Kit, portrayed by Danielle Perez, a stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. O’Connell said of her, “I think she’s hilarious. She’s a stand-up comedian and she’s so fucking funny. So I immediately thought of her.”

Another character called Natalie is portrayed by award-winning actor Nicole Lynn Evans. O’Connell said of her, “I went to this thing called the disability film challenge and I watched one of her short films and was like, she’s a literal star.”

The series also continued with its authenticity when it comes to sex as it dealt with Ryan’s anxiety about topping his new love interest, Tanner (Max Jenkins)

O’Connell shared, “There’s a lot of crazy things about gay sex that have not been explored, as you saw in season 2 there’s shitting on the dick, you have top anxiety. Honey, there’s a lot to unpack! And I want to completely remove stigma.

“Topping anxiety is something that I think a lot of gay men feel. It’s not specific to having a disability. I think anyone having sex worries about their performance and whether or not they’re good in bed or whether or not they can measure up. So I thought it was a nice example of the specificity of Ryan having a disability, but I feel like it’s a universal feeling that people have when having sex.”

The scene also showed Ryan being a jerk, which O’Connell thought was important, “I really believe in showing the thorniness of a disabled person, because I feel like we’re allowed to exist, but we’re only allowed to exist in this inspirational, virtuous way, and anytime I can give the finger to that is exciting to me.”

Speaking about the series, O’Connell has also said, “I hope that Special is a success so other stories can be f*cking told. Disabled people need to be empowered. Growing up disabled and gay, I didn’t think, ‘I’m going to be an actor. I could be starring in my own show’. Are you fucking crazy? I was just thinking, ‘God, I hope I get off my leg braces by the age of 12’.

“I didn’t think that was meant for me. There was no seat at the table for me. I had to wedge myself in between and insert my own fucking self.”

Along with the obvious authenticity, the show is really funny and sweet—definitely worth a binge!