We’ve all been told ad nauseum that Ben Stiller has made a modern comedy masterpiece with is ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ reboot. Simon Mernagh thinks not.

You know those people at parties whose visual flair suggests a certain degree of intrigue, yet in conversation they melt into an uninteresting puddle of boredom? Yeah, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is that guy – a promising exterior hiding a moth-eaten, lifeless core.

Directed by and starring funny guy Ben Stiller, this update of the cult 1947 film tells the tale of a magazine cover artist (and chronic daydreamer) who never goes anywhere or does anything, until he goes everywhere and does everything, simultaneously lulling his audience into a deep coma. He may as well have never left the office.

Although it’s filled with a plethora of hilarious comedians, Walter Mittygives them breadcrumbs to work with. Stiller himself is a generally reliable comic – together There’s Something About Mary and Meet The Parents co-wrote the book on modern puerile movie humour – but here he summons more yawns than laughs.

Not one, but three Parks and Recreation alums materialise, despite all having flourished in other, better movies, and the only amusing thing about Kathryn Hahn, Patton Oswalt or Adam Scott is the latter’s ridiculous beard. Not even such luminaries as Milk’s Sean Penn or the divine Shirley MacLaine can salvage this wreck.

Oh, and will someone please send a cameo cease and desist order to Conan O’Brien?

The ‘biggest waste’ award belongs to Kristen Wiig, who plays Walter’s embarrassingly two-dimensional muse. Between the horrendous Girl Most Likely, her current stint in Anchorman: The Legend Continuesand now this, she appears to have rejected comedy for sleepwalking. It’s a tragedy, as she’s easily among the ten funniest people in showbiz. Go watch Bridesmaids or any Saturday Night Live episode from 2006 to 2012 if you’re unconvinced.

Walter Mitty expects its audience to care about it’s myriad paper-thin characters who, aside from Walter and his adventures, do absolutely nothing of interest. His travels through Greenland and beyond are all ruined by the implication that they themselves may be daydreams. Why should we care if it’s all a potential illusion?

Both the final nail in Walter Mitty’s coffin and a new low for such cinematic malpractice, is that the film rams an unforgivable amount of product placement down our throats. Dating site eHarmony is literally a fully-fledged (and key) character, while Papa John’s enjoys regurgitated references.

File this under ‘style over substance’ and throw away the key. Then burn the filing cabinet.

You know those people at parties whose visual flair suggests a certain degree of intrigue, yet in conversation they melt into an uninteresting puddle of boredom? Yeah, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is that guy – a promising exterior hiding a moth-eaten, lifeless core.

Directed by and starring funny guy Ben Stiller, this update of the cult 1947 film tells the tale of a magazine cover artist (and chronic daydreamer) who never goes anywhere or does anything, until he goes everywhere and does everything, simultaneously lulling his audience into a deep coma. He may as well have never left the office.

Although it’s filled with a plethora of hilarious comedians, Walter Mittygives them breadcrumbs to work with. Stiller himself is a generally reliable comic – together There’s Something About Mary and Meet The Parents co-wrote the book on modern puerile movie humour – but here he summons more yawns than laughs.

Not one, but three Parks and Recreation alums materialise, despite all having flourished in other, better movies, and the only amusing thing about Kathryn Hahn, Patton Oswalt or Adam Scott is the latter’s ridiculous beard. Not even such luminaries as Milk’s Sean Penn or the divine Shirley MacLaine can salvage this wreck.

Oh, and will someone please send a cameo cease and desist order to Conan O’Brien?

The ‘biggest waste’ award belongs to Kristen Wiig, who plays Walter’s embarrassingly two-dimensional muse. Between the horrendous Girl Most Likely, her current stint in Anchorman: The Legend Continuesand now this, she appears to have rejected comedy for sleepwalking. It’s a tragedy, as she’s easily among the ten funniest people in showbiz. Go watch Bridesmaids or any Saturday Night Live episode from 2006 to 2012 if you’re unconvinced.

Walter Mitty expects its audience to care about it’s myriad paper-thin characters who, aside from Walter and his adventures, do absolutely nothing of interest. His travels through Greenland and beyond are all ruined by the implication that they themselves may be daydreams. Why should we care if it’s all a potential illusion?

Both the final nail in Walter Mitty’s coffin and a new low for such cinematic malpractice, is that the film rams an unforgivable amount of product placement down our throats. Dating site eHarmony is literally a fully-fledged (and key) character, while Papa John’s enjoys regurgitated references.

File this under ‘style over substance’ and throw away the key. Then burn the filing cabinet.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty opens nationwide on December 26