The Ultimate Guide To Making A Gay Long Distance Relationship Work

A gay couple kissing after being reunited from a gay long distance relationship

Being in a long distance relationship can be difficult, that’s why we created this guide to help you find ways of coping with the trials that distance can bring to a relationship

 

Long distance relationships are hard, everybody knows this. And people enter into them without fully understanding the extent to which they can change a relationship. That’s why we’ve created the ultimate guide to making a long distance relationship work.

 

Communication

Image of Apple's FaceTime on Macbook and iPhone as people communicate during a long distance relationship

When you’re in the same location as your boyfriend, whether you live with them or in the same city as them, seeing them on a regular basis can be a part of your daily ritual. When you’re in a long distance relationship, you aren’t afforded the same opportunity.

Of course, with WhatsApp and iMessage in your back pocket, keeping in touch has never been so easy. Your partner is only ever a few seconds away.

But nothing can beat seeing their face, their smile as they tell a joke, their eyes sparkle as they look at you. So it makes sense to set aside a specific time to Skype or FaceTime with your partner.

Make it a part of your daily or weekly routine and you’ll get to tell your boyfriend all of the little things that happened to you. Making time to call them up or video call them will give maintain your intimacy in a way that texting can’t.

Be sure to communicate how you’re feeling by telling your partner about your emotions – the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

Sexting

 

A post shared by GAY FITSPO (@gayfitspo) on

 

Smartphones and technology are amazing devices. We spoke about how you can use iMessage and WhatsApp to chat with your boyfriend instantly while you’re in a long distance relationship. You can also send some erotic pictures of yourself to keep things interesting, remind him that you find him sexy and are thinking about him.

This comes with a caveat: make sure to agree to delete the pictures after they’ve been enjoyed. Whether you’re a celebrity like Jennifer Lawrence or an Instagrammer like Singaporean Lokies Khan, nobody wants their nude photos getting leaked online.

Getting creative with sexy pics can keep your boyfriend interested, amused and aroused all at once.
Be sure to keep reading to find out tips to help you survive a gay long distance relationship.

Netflix

Stranger Things which is one of the tv shows you could watch with your boyfriend if you're in a long distance relationship

Netflix is an amazing way to watch shows or movies together when you’re in the same location, but it can also be a great way to watch the same stuff when you’re apart. Thanks to the magic of technology, now you can watch the same thing on Netflix with your boyfriend, at the same time even if you are apart.

Netflix Party, an extension for Google Chrome, allows you and your boyfriend to sit back and relax watching the something like OITNB or Stranger Things.

That’s your Saturday night in on the couch sorted!

 

Phone Sex

a man on the phone with a cheeky grin as he's in a long distance relationship
(Image: Flickr)

Phone sex is a great way to keep things even more intimate between you and your boyfriend, even if you’re separated by an ocean. This is one solution to fulfilling the sexual needs which can no longer be fulfilled by your boyfriend.

Set aside a date night, or call out of the blue when you know they’ll be free. Tell your boyfriend all the dirty things you want to do to him.

For those who haven’t tried or aren’t fully comfortable with sexy talk, it can take some practice.

If you really don’t know where to start, keep your eyes-peeled for our upcoming How To Have Phone Sex/Talk Dirty To Your Gay Boyfriend Guide.

 

Top or Bottom

top or bottom t-shirt for guys in a long distance relationship

When you do get to visit each other, it’s only fair that the boyfriend who has travelled gets first preference at what position they want to be.

If you’re exclusively in a top and bottom relationship then this one is not such of a big deal. But if your boyfriend has spent hours on travelling to see you, be the gentleman and give him the choice!

 

Be sure to keep reading to find out tips to help you survive a gay long distance relationship.

Exclusivity

Three gay men on a boat in shorts overcoming some boundaries with long distance relationships
(Image: Flickr)

Deciding whether you are exclusively monogamous before entering into a long distance relationship can help to assuage anxiety that might otherwise gnaw away at the foundations of your partnership.

Within the gay community, non-monogamous relationships are not as rare as they are in the heterosexual community. According to a survey carried out by FS Magazine, 41% of respondents were in or had previously been in an open-relationship.

Being separated from someone by hundreds or thousands of miles can mean that sexual needs are not being fulfilled, so while navigating this topic might be difficult, it could ultimately be something that strengthens a long-distance relationship.

 

Have An End In Sight

Man running in a marathon which is a metaphor for being in a gay long distance relationship

And not a rear end… well maybe, depending on what you worked out about exclusivity. But seriously, make sure that you know what your end goal is. Are you going to move to where he is? Is it only temporary and then your boyfriend will be back in your bed within half a year

Figuring out when the long distance relationship will end is key to enduring the difficulties that accompany it. If you know it’s only for so long, then you can pace yourself, prepare mentally for the eventuality that you will be reunited.

By focussing on why you’re putting up with the grievances of being in a long distance relationship – the end goal that you’ll eventually live in the same place – as opposed to focussing on what a long distance relationship is forcing you to do – travel for hours, forego sex with your boyfriend – it will make the process easier.

 

© 2016 GCN (Gay Community News Ireland). All rights reserved.

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