Beloved children’s character Winnie the Pooh has been banned in a Polish town due to his dubious sexuality and lack of pants.
The town of Tuszyn had planned to name a playground after the infamous cartoon bear, but their plans were scrapped. Town councillors argued against the plan due to Winnie the Pooh’s lack of both trousers and genitalia.
However, we are sure that children have missed neither Pooh’s pants or his genitalia from their Saturday morning viewing.
According to the Croatian Times, Councillor Ryszard Cichy said, “The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe. […] It is half naked which is wholly inappropriate for children.”
Another councillor stated that, “It doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex. It’s a hermaphrodite.”
Councillor Hanna Jachimska criticised author AA Milne for his characterisation of the bear, saying, “This is very disturbing but can you imagine! The author was over 60 and cut [Pooh’s] testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity.”
It’s unclear whether or not Jachimska believes that the author literally cut Pooh’s testicles off with a razor blade as, you know, he’s fictional.
It was eventually decided that Polish bear Uszatek would be a less controversial choice, because he wears trousers.
Councillor Cichy later told a newspaper that he was joking after the official discussion about the playground had gone on too long.
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