The hit US sitcom Friends made history when it became the first primetime television show to air a lesbian wedding ceremony in an episode that still remains highly significant to this day. 2024 marks 28 years since ‘The One with the Lesbian Wedding’ aired on NBC on January 18, 1996 – which featured the on-screen marriage of characters Carol (Jane Sibbett) and Susan (Jessica Hecht).

Even though same-sex relationships had already started to be portrayed on TV shows, it was a pioneering queer moment as it was the first depiction of a lesbian wedding ceremony by a mainstream television broadcaster. 

The episode sparked a lot of controversy at the time and was even banned on some conservative networks in the US. On a more positive note, it also garnered over 30 million viewers and introduced a lesbian relationship to mainstream pop culture, internationally.

As we look back, nearly three decades later, it’s the perfect opportunity to reflect on the legacy of Carol and Susan’s wedding and relationship as a whole.

America’s hit sitcom debuted in 1994 and amongst its main cast of six friends, it introduced Carol Willick as Ross Gellar’s ex-wife and her partner Susan Bunch – and their relationship helped normalise same-sex relationships for many viewers.

The show navigated through Ross’ journey of coming to terms with divorcing Carol, who was pregnant with his child and in a new relationship with Susan. Although the portrayal at times relied on stereotypes for quick laughs (it was a ’90s sitcom), Carol and Susan offered viewers a first in TV’s representation of three-dimensional lesbian characters.

 

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Their wedding in Season 2 was an unprecedented and ground-breaking moment for the sitcom genre. At a time when same-sex civil marriages were still illegal in New York, and remained illegal for another 15 years, the episode saw two women walk down the aisle on primetime television – ultimately paving the way for the future of lesbian visibility.

While going by today’s standards, Carol and Susan’s wedding might appear as an underwhelming representation of two lesbian recurring characters in the shadows of a predominantly heterosexual sitcom, but it was indeed very bold at the time.

Elements of the episode were criticised as stereotypical, with the comedy distracting somewhat from the meaning – and the worst parts being that the vow exchange and kiss between the two newly-weds weren’t shown on-screen.

However, it was quite revolutionary for an LGBTQ+ person in the ’90s to simply see two women marry on a hit TV show.

In 2018, the actors behind Carol and Susan, Jane Sibbett and Jessica Hecht were interviewed on ITV’s Lorraine and discussed the impact of their characters’ wedding: “We won awards for that (episode). That was nothing to do with us but we won a GLAAD Award, so it was remarkable.”

Jane, stating how she had no idea of the impact her character would have on the LGBTQ+ community, continued, saying, “I remember meeting a man at one awards ceremony that was held by an organisation that works with gay families. He said to me that if he’d had Carol and Susan as role models when he was a young boy, he probably wouldn’t have tried to commit suicide so many times. I hadn’t even thought of that.”

 

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Friends’ ‘The One with the Lesbian Wedding’ challenged prejudice surrounding same-sex relationships and paved the way for conversations around allyship and support. So while going by 2024 standards, the depiction might be viewed as quite weak, in 1996, it was ahead of its time and pivotal in kick-starting LGBTQ+ representation.

Since then, we’ve seen countless more lesbians in TV through shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Glee, Orange is the New Black, Ratched, Dickinson, Grey’s Anatomy, Sex Education, Derry Girls, Super Girl, The Fosters and The L Word, to name a few.

As stated earlier in the article, even though they weren’t the first lesbian couple on television, their wedding on Friends was a moment of visibility that we should not allow to get lost in the past.

Today, same-sex marriages are more common than before and it’s thanks to the ground-breaking firsts like these that paved the way towards a more accepting society.

This year, Ireland marks nine years since same-sex marriage was historically legalised through a referendum in May 2015.

Ireland was notably the first state in the world to legalise same-sex marriage by popular vote in which a 62.07% yes result approved the amendment to the constitution that “marriage may be contracted in accordance with law by two persons without distinction to their sex.”

We are forever indebted to couples like Carol and Susan, for giving the world a crumb to follow on the journey to marriage equality.