October 10 marks World Mental Health Day, a day dedicated to raising awareness about mental health issues and encouraging support for those struggling with their mental and emotional well-being. When you notice changes in yourself or a friend, knowing how to start a conversation can make a big difference. We’ve put together a mental health conversation guide encompassing useful tools to help you get started.
Talking to a friend: How to start the conversation
Starting the conversation can feel daunting, especially if you’re concerned about triggering the person or yourself. It’s important to remember you are talking to a friend. Here are some helpful ways to begin:
- Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you doing?” or “How are you feeling lately?” This encourages them to reflect and talk about themselves.
- Use your personal experiences to help open the discussion, but only share what you’re comfortable with. You might say, “I’ve been feeling stressed recently, how about you?”
- Consider using casual language. A conversation about mental health shouldn’t feel like an interview for either party – you are simply starting a conversation with a friend. Consider saying phrases such as: “You don’t seem yourself lately—want to talk about it?” or “Hey, just checking in—are you okay?”
Listening and validating their feelings is one of the most valuable ways to support someone. #WorldMentalHealthDay
💡 letstalk.mentalhealth pic.twitter.com/emnAWu46oq
— YoungMinds (@YoungMindsUK) October 10, 2024
Managing conversations: Creating a safe and comfortable enviroment
If you can, try to choose a quiet, relaxed space for the conversation, like a café or park. The goal is for the talk to feel casual, not formal or intimidating. Give your full attention to the person—listen actively and avoid interrupting them. Let them know that they have the time and space to share at their own pace.
Once someone knows they’re being given the space and time to talk, they’re more likely to open up. However, if someone approaches you wanting to talk, it might not always be possible for you to give them the time they need at that moment. It’s important to respect your own limitations and boundaries.
Instead, show them you recognise that they’ve taken a positive step by speaking to you, explain why you can’t talk now and arrange a better time to have the conversation. If they are in urgent need of support, you can always direct them to services available which are listed at the end of this article.
It’s helpful to ask open-ended questions that give them room to express themselves, such as: “Can you describe how you’re feeling?”, “How do you take care of your mental health?”, “What support do you have right now?” or “What do you need in this moment?”
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Offering support and wrapping up the conversation
A lot of the time conversations will come to a natural end. It’s important to reassure your friend that their thoughts and feelings have been listened to, and then you can help to clarify the next steps.
Once they’ve shared, acknowledge their need for support and suggest reaching out to services or trusted people when they’re ready. Ask practical questions like, “Will someone be with you when you get home?” or “Is there someone you can talk to later?”
While you may not get a clear idea of what steps they’ll take, invite them to reflect on the conversation. Acknowledge that this conversation shows they are taking steps forward.
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Mental health services
Beyond this mental health conversation guide, there are multiple organisations that offer support to LGBTQ+ individuals in Ireland. If you feel it’s time to seek support for yourself or a friend, you can get in touch with the organisations below.
- Switchboard Ireland is Ireland’s longest-running support service for LGBTQ+ individuals. It offers support lines seven days a week as well as the option to seek help via email or online chat.
- Belong To LGBTQ+ Youth Services is the national LGBTQ+ youth organisation. It offers multiple support networks for young people which are all available on its website.
- LGBT Ireland provides the National LGBT Ireland Helpline, a service for queer people who are looking for support or reliable information about mental health.
- TENI (Transgender Equality Network Ireland) offers a range of support services to trans people in Ireland, and with their Gender Identity Family Support Line, they also address families who might be in need of guidance.
- Outhouse LGBTQ+ Centre provides many different resources, including an information and referral service as well as peer support groups.
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