Launched on February 29 by Nicole and Bret, the Platonic Partner Podcast explores the trajectory of their relationship, and questions the social boundaries of traditional heteronormative monogamous marriages. As the fourth episode came out on April 12, GCN talked to them about the process of creating the project.
The idea for the Platonic Partner Podcast first came to Nicole and Bret during lockdown. Three years later, they revisit those earlier recordings and discuss the evolution of their partnership in their new fortnightly podcast.
Talking about what inspired them to take on such a project, Nicole shared: “When I mention that I have a platonic partner, people usually have loads of questions. I’m happy to share the basics: I’m a lesbian and Bret is ace, and we are best friends who have been married for ten years. But there is so much history about our relationship and how we got here.”
The podcast started as conversations reflecting on their partnership, which Bret pointed out: “I think a big part of the project came from a desire to record the trajectory of our relationship as we gradually changed how we defined it.”
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Bret shared they had doubts before publishing the Platonic Partner Podcast, as they discuss quite vulnerable and personal topics:
“I think there’s anxiety any time you put something personal out into the world, even more so when it might not align with social expectations. But we knew that the conversations we were having were strengthening our relationship.”
Nicole told GCN what moved them to publish it: “After I wrote an article about our marriage, a few people with similar relationship dynamics reached out to me thanking me for talking about platonic partnerships. Monogamous, heteronormative relationships dominate our media and it feels affirming to see different type of relationships represented.”
Bret emphasised: “For me, I just hope it helps show listeners who might feel alone that there are deep meaningful relationships that look very different than what we see in popular media. A lot of ace/aro content I’ve found on social media has this underlying implicit theme of loneliness–like a lot of human experiences are “off the table” because a person doesn’t experience sexual and/or romantic attraction.”
They emphasised: “And yet the queer platonic partnership that we have has provided a deep connection that is more meaningful than my past sexual/romantic relationships. I hope it shows that there are many ways of creating family, community, and belonging.”
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As the project enables visibility around platonic partnerships, Nicole highlighted: “We’re really careful to remind our audience that we’re not trying to be a model relationship, we’re just sharing our story and hoping people take whatever they want from it.”
The Platonic Partner Podcast features the hosts discussing recordings from 2021. Nicole told GCN: “When I started recording, I didn’t really consider what it would be like to go back and listen to those segments three years later. It’s rare to be able to be in conversation with your younger self.”
Nicole said: “One of my favourite episodes so far is episode 4 where I talk with my ex-girlfriend about our break-up. We talk through old arguments and even read our break-up texts and emails. It’s such a cool opportunity to be able to revisit these conversations from a self-growth and reflection perspective.”
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So far, the Platonic Partner Podcast has received positive responses, and Bret said some listeners have even contacted them to share their own stories:
“A lot of folks have reached out to tell us that they’ve appreciated hearing about a kind of relationship that describes what they either want or what they currently have with a partner. Platonic partnerships have been around for a long time, but usually they exist in whispers surrounding a person’s social life.”
Nicole added: “It’s been incredible so far. I love hearing from people who relate to the podcast.”
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GCN asked who can gain something from their story, and Bret said: “I put a lot of time and thought into addressing the asexual and aromantic communities, which often get overlooked.”
Nicole added: “Anyone who is invested in building deep relationships, honestly. Late in life lesbians who have dated men will definitely relate to my story, and hetero monogamous people can benefit from learning about relationships outside of their default expectations.”
Bret and Nicole’s show is another amazing LGBTQ+ podcast giving visibility to queer relationships, as they reflect on creating a chosen family. A new episode of their Platonic Partner Podcast is shared every other Thursday on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
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