You can have all the desire, intention and even ideas to make an out-of-this-world impressive queer costume this year, but then the next thing you know, Halloween is upon us, and you have nothing to wear. Who has time between all of the working, protesting, doom-scrolling, and resting?

This year, don’t be left out in the cold, naked, unless you choose one of our sluttier options! Fear not, weary soldier, here are some ideas for those of us short on time, imagination, and energy this spooky season.

Jonathon Bailey
Don’t bother going as one of his characters, with all their fancy costumes and specific styles. Go as him being a regular, hot gay guy in slutty little shorts. Optional add-on: a big bag of crisps.

Generic Lesbian Vampire
For this low-effort, medium-reward queer Halloween costume, put on whatever goth clothes you have, and some pointy fake teeth, in case you get thirsty.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Godimsuchadyke (@godimsuchadyke)

Vampire-bite victim who hasn’t changed yet, but it’s probably fine
Wear your normal clothes this Samhain, and simply plop on two drops of fake blood, red make-up, or ketchup onto your neck. Make sure to draw attention to it and say how hot the vampire was, but that you actually feel totally fine and you don’t think there will be any strange side effects. It’s probably nothing. It’ll be fine.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by JessFX (@jessfxstore)

Maria Steen
Just a Hermes bag and boring business wear. We all have Hermes bags, right? Okay, any big handbag. You can draw ‘Hermes’ on it in marker.

Oscar Wilde’s library card
You may have heard that the British Library recently reinstated Oscar Wilde’s library card, and thereby, his right to read, after it was revoked following his conviction for “gross indecency” in 1895. You can use this as your opportunity to read people for filth at the event.

For this costume, you can either make the card out of a piece of cardboard and carry it or hang it around your neck, or you can use your body as the card. Please only use body-safe art materials if choosing this option! Drawing the library card on an old plain tee works as well.

Freddie Mercury
A man of many looks, and you no doubt have something lying around that can resemble one of his iconic fits. At the very least, a tank top, blue jeans, and a moustache will do. You could also go shirtless, with a necktie as a belt, and carry around a microphone on a stick. A hairbrush or a spatula taped to a broom or flogger will do.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Freddie Mercury Fan acc (@freddie.takemybreathaway)

Tom Aspaul
See above. Tom Aspaul is a less famous (so far) but more contemporary version of Freddie Mercury.

Owen from I Saw The TV Glow
This one’s for the trans folks. Grab a polo shirt, make a name tag, and throw on a hoodie if you’re cold. You can look sad and stare at the TV all night! Thank you, Jane Schoenbrun, for this easy queer Halloween costume idea. If your work has a similar uniform, even better for going straight from business to pleasure.

Bin Bags
This is THE last-minute, low-effort, cheap Halloween costume material. You are only limited by your imagination, but you might have limited imagination right now, so here’s some guidance. You can be a bin bag witch, a bin bag grim reaper, a priest, a nun, or simply a piece of trash. Go as whatever bin bag costume you wore for Halloween as a child, or an ostrich.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Dogcottage (@dogcottagegirls)

Mae Martin
This one’s for the little butch lesbians and trans masculine folk with that haircut. You know who you are. Wear your plain white or black tee and assorted Carhartt. Bam, now you’re this season’s favourite non-binary Canadian comedian/showrunner/actor! 

A Robyn fan waiting for the new music to drop
Would you believe that for this costume, you once again just have to wear your own clothes? This one requires a little more acting, or just talking if you truly are eagerly waiting for Robyn’s first new album in seven years! Bring every conversation back to Robyn.

Billie Eilish in the ‘Guess’ music video
Shout out to Billie for being an icon, and one whose look we can easily recreate this Halloween. Plenty of you ladies and theydies already dress like this, so don your baggy jeans, chunky skate shoes, and a bandana or baseball cap this Hallow’s eve. For extra points, hold some lingerie.

Ellie from The Last of Us 
Dressing as Ellie from The Last of Us allows you to embody a resilient and fierce queer character. To capture the iconic look, simply grab a maroon zipped hoodie, a long-sleeved baseball shirt and some jeans or cargo pants. You could even add rips for a post-apocalyptic vibe. Also, don’t forget a prop knife for the zombie-slaying spirit!

Willow Rosenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer 
The basics of transforming into Willow start with a scoop-neck shirt paired with a long, flowing maxi skirt. Also, get a vibrant short red wig to capture Willow’s signature hair colour, and complete the look with a ’90s choker necklace for that nostalgic touch.

For makeup, focus on Willow’s natural yet alluring appearance. Keep the base light and fresh, adding a touch of rosy blush to the cheeks. Define your eyes with soft eyeliner and mascara, and opt for a natural lip colour to complete the look.

Megan Broomfield from But I’m a Cheerleader! 
Oh, the irony! When Megan got shipped off to a therapy camp to ‘straighten out,’ it was like sending a cat to fetch water – utterly futile! And guess what? The camp’s attempt to change her just made her more gloriously queer!

Now, about her camp look – grab a pink shirt and skirt, while also tossing in some hair clips. Get out there and show the world that you can’t “cure” fabulous!

Tanya from White Lotus
This list wouldn’t be complete without Jennifer Coolidge’s White Lotus character. To dress up as Tanya, you’ll need some oversized sunglasses, a blonde wig, and an extravagant summery dress and shawl. To really make this one convincing, be sure to scream, “These gays are trying to kill me!” at any given opportunity.

Gay Cowboy
What gay, nay, human, doesn’t have access to a cowboy hat these days? You can make it as simple as grabbing that cowboy hat that’s lying around your gaff from your friend’s gay alien cowboy birthday party earlier this year, and maybe zhuzh it up with a slutty little vest and a cool bolo tie. If you don’t have cowboy accessories in your everyday closet, you probably know someone who does. If you want to be extra, you can make an Orville Peck-style frilly mask, but who has the time? Not us.

Love Lies Bleeding character
Whether you want to show off your gym gains or simply recreate one of this year’s iconic queer characters, both Lou and Jackie from Love Lies Bleeding make for great Halloween costumes. For Lou, you’ll need to cut the sleeves off an old T-shirt, and for extra marks, draw on the Crater Gym logo. Pair this with some jeans and voilà, you’re ready to go! For Jackie, you’ll want some short shorts and a tight crop top. Be sure to flex your muscles at any opportunity to sell this one properly, and you can add some bronze contour to really make those biceps bulge.

Splatter some fake blood on either of these queer costumes to pull them together and add to the Halloween appeal.

Bedsheet ghost, but make it cool
If you only have minutes to spare to decide on a costume, just pull out a white bedsheet, or even a patterned one, throw it over your head and don some sunglasses on top. Cutting eye holes out is optional, but it would probably help you see. This could be the most notorious last-minute Halloween costume, so prepare to be haunted by some other ghostly individuals who also forgot to plan their outfit this year.

Steven from Steven Universe
To create your own Steven Universe costume, just grab some blue jeans, a pair of flip flops and a red t-shirt that you have no qualms about painting a yellow star on. For extra points, you can try to recreate his shield out of cardboard and some paint.

Linda & Bob Belcher
Go to Penneys. Grab a red top, a white shirt. Then get a wig, big glasses, and there you have it! Spot on, our favourite mother of our favourite cartoon family! A white tee, an apron, and a moustache are the defining features of Bobby B. Going as the sweet but grouchy Bob means you also have an excuse to be grumpy at the party, and hang out mostly in the kitchen.

Olympic Diver
This one’s a cinch. All you need is a banana hammock and confidence! You may also need a dry robe or a party taking place in a sauna, or you may have a frozen banana situation on your hands.

Mario & Luigi
A classic. You can make it as silly or as slutty as you like. Wear your leather dungarees or a harness with a green or red tee, or whatever you have, to be honest. It works best as a duo, but you can always just go as Luigi, and you could find a Mario when you are out. You could even fall in love.

If you managed to reach the end of this article, you can absolutely handle throwing together one of these last-minute queer Halloween costume ideas! Best of luck out there, cowboy.