Two weeks ago, an Irish gay man based in Dublin was targeted in an extortion incident on Grindr, with his blackmailer threatening and then sharing his intimate images without consent.

Speaking to GCN, the man, who wished to remain anonymous and will be referred to as MC, explained how the extortionist engaged him in a believable conversation on Grindr before asking him to move to a secondary platform, such as WhatsApp and then Telegram. That’s when the extortionist started making threats.

When MC didn’t comply with the demands, the extortionist found some family members through his Facebook profile and proceeded to share some of his intimate photos publicly on his brother’s Facebook profile.

Reflecting on the experience and the emotional toll it had on him, the Irish man shared some insight on how to stay safe on Grindr and what to do if you’re targeted in an extortion situation.

“My advice is to step up your normal security, what you think is normal, because everything has changed, it’s become much more dangerous,” MC said.

“Don’t be too quick to switch to a different platform,” the man continued. “While it might make sense for practical reasons, take a pause and just take a little bit more time and make sure that you are absolutely confident that that person is who they say they are, and maybe get them to do a test, a little video call or something first.

“Be careful of sharing your mobile number because that’s how he was able to get my Facebook page, through my mobile number,” he said.

Speaking about further safety measures people can put in place to protect themselves from online extortionists and scammers, MC advised people to check privacy settings on all social media. “What I would encourage everybody to do is do a settings health check. Go through all of your social media profiles and make sure they are what you think they are. Because I thought because my posts were private on Facebook, that meant everything was private on Facebook, but that is not true.”

In case someone falls victim to one of these extortionists who threaten to share intimate material, there are a few things that it’s important to do. “The most important thing is don’t engage with the person at all,” MC said.

“I sent them no message, not one. So don’t engage and block them immediately. I know that’s a leap of faith ’cause you think, ‘Well, what if they do it in revenge’, but remember what their motivation is.

“Their motivation is to make money. If you cut off communication immediately by blocking and blocking on all platforms, they cannot make money out of you. It’s a time-consuming effort for them to go into your Facebook page and then do what they did with me. The reason that they did that with me is because I didn’t block them on Grindr, ’cause I wanted them to tell me what they were doing. I wanted to get information out of them.

“Learn from my mistake and block them immediately,” MC said. “If you just block immediately, then he’s not getting anything back from you. So he can’t possibly make money out of you.

“It’s really important to bear in mind if, if somebody’s in this situation, that it’s only the threat that’s valuable, they’re not going to follow through on it unless they think that they can up it. Because here’s the thing: if you do engage with them and you do agree to give them money, they’re not going to delete the video. They’re just going to threaten more and increase the amount. And that’s what the police told me that has happened.

The man also advised to immediately get in touch with Gardaí if you find yourself in an extortion situation. “I called the police, my local police station first and asked them what to do. They were like, ‘Just come in, come in immediately.”

“You have to report it. It’s so important to report it. Report just for statistics,” MC said. “Because Meta won’t act on it, Grindr won’t be motivated to act on it if they don’t see that it’s affecting thousands or hundreds of people.

“You don’t have to give your name, just report. Report the extortion. It just adds another number to the seriousness of the crime wave.”

To find out what to do if you’re a target of extortion on Grindr or other apps, read more on the dedicated An Garda Síochána page.